|
|||||||
|
|
|
|||||
|
|
|||||||
| HAIKU'S A'PLENTY by Kelly Kaiser (All artwork seen here is also Ms. Kaiser's and can be found on her site.) Click Here to visit her Web Site |
|
It amazes me how one little lump can cause such utter horror Only 35 well, isn't it too early? make the appointment must call sis-in-law scared, not knowing the outcome sis-in-law calms me the 1st fun exam stand in front of the machine will be over soon the lump is benign 5% certain is what they tell me I choose surgery rid myself of this tumor free my worried mind Another exam mammography really sucks squish, smash - agony |
 |
to be continued next week after the second exam Haiku a'plenty Part 2 The odds are with me No change is size and shape, whew! Wait for doctor's call Surgery is next I'm looking forward to it Stop the awful dreams The sun looked brighter When I left the hospital Happiness tear fell The weight has lifted My mind feels so much clearer No cancer, just lump. |
Surgery day So the day has finally arrived. I walk into the hospital's emergency room all strong and brave and my husband is by my side. "It'll all be over soon" I tell myself, "It'll all be over soon" Check in and have a seat. Waiting...waiting...for what seems like hours (but only minutes). Starting to sweat under my arms and my lip begins to quiver. (maybe I should leave) NO, I must get this done, don't I remember the dreams? Ah yes, I do. "Be brave. Be strong." I tell myself "It'll be over soon" A woman in blue scrubs comes into the waiting room and calls my name. I give my husband's hand a squeeze and stand up, ready to face the knife with a smile on my face. "You can do this, keep smiling" I tell myself, "It'll all be over soon" |  |
 |
Walking into the "room" with only curtains separating me from the others, I can feel the tears starting to well in my eyes "STOP" I yell in my head. Quickly blinking my eyes over and over before the nurse turns her face to mine. "How are you" "I'm doing great" I say with a smile. "Keep it up, you're doing okay" I tell myself "It'll all be over soon" Change into a backwards nightgown and it's very apparent that it was not meant to be worn like that. Sit on the bed and wait for the doctor. Things start to really go fast now. Apply a grounding wire to my back for when they have to cauterize, lay down, open gown, surround my whole chest except for my breast with towel after towel, brown liquid applied and re-applied, mark the place where the incision is to be, "You'll only feel a slight prick" "It'll all be over soon" I tell myself, "It'll all..... |
|
AAAAHHHH!!! The tears flow the pain is there then gone then there again! "When will the shot be DONE!" Feels like I'm at the dentist's office only they aren't trying to numb my gums. Finally the shot is done and is working. I have a nurse at my feet and one at my shoulder, hands gently but firmly on me, doctor by my side. The incision is made ... well, this isn't so bad, can't feel a thi.... but wait. What the hell? The pressure and tugging as he's trying to find the lump (why can't I be home with my kitten?). The nurses have a firmer grip on me. It feels as though he's trying to lift me by my breast. I tense up and hold onto the bedrails for dear life, my body starts to shake like when you've done 5 too many sit-ups. I can't breathe, holding my breathe because... because... because.... I don't know why! "It can't be much longer" I tell myself "It'll all be over soon" "Would you like to see it?" Are they nuts?!?! Just get the damn thing out of me! He finally gets his fingers on it and cauterizes it. More tears, actually sobbing by this time and the shaking is starting to subside. "You did just fine" say the nurses. Final stitches in as the doctor goes over what I can and can't do for the next week. "It's finally over" I tell myself (I hope). That's a big I HOPE. |