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Nov14-01 Ok - I haven’t killed anyone- so I quess this is a good thing. I took all the stuff for making my cigs, plus alot of tubes and tobacco , outside and had a ceremony last night. The rollers went in the garbage, and the rest was burned in a pit. I have no choice- I can’t say maybe tomorrow... I’ll have just a small puff now... Of course , I could fire up the car and drive 10 miles, but I really don’t think it’s worth it- besides with the prayers of Mary McK, and family, and Nicci- I think I can do this - I am still not sure why( oh, I know all the REAL reasons) I am even bothering.. just I don’t like the taste in my mouth, and besides , I have beat BC , so why not challenge something harder? The “patch” is helping the cravings- it’s the head thing- and so far we are doing ok with that! That was my biggest worry. I was worried also about eating- like Frank did- but so far so good- Not that 5-10 lbs would hurt me, but more than that it is too hard to get off, and I don’t need to add that stress to my body. But that is what walking is for- and I’ll just have to add it somehow to my workday! But I have a delicious treat waiting for me, Calling my name..that Chris brought back from the East... Oh well, a little white flour and sugar with peanut butter and choco hasn’t killed anyone yet-(‘specially since it’s been over 20 yrs. since I had one.) I know I am going to be feeling some uproar from my body over this ciggy thing- but since I am already flushing to a high extent- both externally and internally- I think it will be ok! Hell, think? I KNOW it will be ok! Frank made some delicious stuffed salmon and veggies tonight and the critters, including Fuzz-bucket scarfed on the leftovers. She is an” in your face”Lovey Cat!!! I can’t wait til Kayla mets her this weekend. |